Side Chic

Dear Side Chic,

Let’s start with some basics. A definition is obviously the most basic thing, right?

side chic (noun)

Definition:

  1. A lady who is dating another woman’s husband or boyfriend knowingly or unknowingly.
  2. A lady who is trying to perch in another woman’s relationship to avoid being caught up in the ‘men shortage’
  3. A lady who enjoys being in a relationship with already taken guys.
  4. A married or hooked up lady whose partner drifts off a second to admire another lady; that moment, you become a side chic

Source: Street Dictionary.

I won’t mince words on this subject. I have allowed myself to be (what we call around here) a ‘side chic’. Not once, twice! Now, I don’t know if there’s going to be a third but that’s madness! I won’t victimize myself like other ladies would do, I take full responsibilities for everything I go through in life.

I am pretty and smart. A very rare kind. But everyone has a flaw; mine is falling in love with guys who are already hooked up; knowingly, other times I really do not see it coming. If you have been in my shoes, you know that you just don’t fall out of love because he has another woman. It’s hard! You hate him for that but you can never stop loving him. The best you can do is avoid him, but there’s always going to be a rekindling even when you spot him hundred miles away. I call this a disease, one I have refused to cure because honestly sometimes, I don’t know what other explanation there is.

I am not proud of my actions or situationships but before you point accusing fingers at me and call me names, let me run you through a quick checklist. When you’re confident you’re not guilty or victim, go ahead, throw the first stone at me; I am ready

  1. He hates it when you come around without prior notice; he calls it invasion of privacy? LOL! Please (Rolling my eyes).
  2. Do you have a picture with him? Or he keeps making constant shirt and hair excuses?
  3. Have you been on a date outside the bedroom? Or is he the indoor sorta guy?
  4. You can’t call him at some particular times; he is busy?
  5. He asks you when you’re finding a husband; when you are supposed to be dating towards what…graduation?
  6. When you express your love to him, he says you’re being dramatic and just laughs it off? Cookie Lyon, huh?
  7. Suddenly he is fighting you for the same things he loved you for? Your reign is over, sweetheart.
  8. You meet him when he’s already engaged. You fall in love; you think you can wipe that with an eraser? You’re stuck for some time, darling.
  9. You’re in a perfect relationship? Good for you; I hope you feel the same when the betrothed wife to be finishes her course abroad
  10. You’re with him because you stole him from another woman. You think the world has forgotten?

Fellow side chic; shut up! I really pity you, you are even oblivious your boyfriend has a serious girlfriend somewhere. He makes you feel you’re his heaven so you freaking have no idea what you’re in for. He spends days in your house and there’s no suspicious act so you think you’re just a lucky girl who has found the perfect guy. I hope you like surprises? Men are good actors and go getters. Therefore, before you run that mouth of yours to call me names go clean your home for clues.

Fellow side chic, shut up!  I hate hypocrites, you know we are in the same line of business, but because yours is in the dark so you think you can be God and judge me for my open honesty. You are with a married man and you think you can take the speck out of my yes when you’re clearly blinded by a log? Nice try, I forgive you.

There’s a new girl in the picture, yes! You are the main chic, but you know don’t forget this, tables turn. Your boyfriend has found his soulmate and is afraid to hurt your feelings so he can’t call it quits with you. It doesn’t make you main chic anymore; you’re now the side chic. You better start packing bag and baggage out of his space and allow another lady to be happy. Your reign is over. The new queen is in, and don’t you dare call her names; you can’t blame a girl for falling in love. Do me a favor newly admitted side chic; in this association, we shut up!

Fellow side chic, this disease cannot be flushed out of the world. I hope you know there are fewer men as compared to women. We won’t stop being charming, so the men would want us every day. As far as I’m concerned, every lady is a side chick; the fact that you don’t know doesn’t mean you’re not. You may get lucky and settle one day with someone you have won. Remember karma is our best friend. Don’t get upset when another lady comes up to reenact what you did to Mr. Otua’s wife, not forgetting Mr. Dickson’s girlfriend.

I am Aggor Yorm. I am in my house. Come and beat me.

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