At a young medical professionals’ hang out last week Thursday, Dr. Patrick Fynn had a broken nose, a bruised eye, and swollen cheeks. He was in so much pain so he could not eat as much as he usually did. Some of his colleagues who noticed the legendary foodie was staying away from the buffet table got concerned and tried to find out what was wrong with their friend.
At each question of what happened to his face and why he was not eating his usual mountainous portion of food, Patrick asked the questioner to repeat their question. No matter the number of times they repeated themselves, Patrick asked them to come again. Some of his friends got irritated by his antics and gave up finding out the reason for his disfigured face. Others assumed that the music playing in the background was why Patrick could not hear them. These people wish him well nonetheless and went ahead to talk to other people.
Pharm Dr. Kossi Akplah who was not impressed by Patrick’s larks dragged him out of the noisy room and interrogated his friend.
“What happened to you, Patrick?”
“Oh, just a minor accident,” Patrick responded.
Kossi gave his friend the I-can’t-be-fooled-easily look. “Idiot! Who gets this hurt through a minor accident? Come on, speak before I make your situation worse”
“It’s okay. No need to be violent,” Patrick started. “See, I’m not a proud man at all. I had an altercation with Fafa three days ago and I laid my hands on her. Kossi, I beat her mercilessly that I am ashamed of myself. No man should beat a woman, talk less of beating her the way I beat my fiancée. Kossi, it was that bad”.
“Hahahahahahahahahahahaha,” Kossi laughed at Patrick. “It seems to me that the narrative should be no man should make a woman pummel him as much as Fafa has done you. You are a disgrace to manhood, my friend,” Kossi finished with another bout of laughter.
“Oh, seriously! Yeah, it was a fight. I got some bruises but what I did to her cannot be compared to what you see on my face”, Patrick tried to defend himself.
“Massa, I saw Fafa this morning and there was no scratch on her body”.
“Pu-lease, don’t be deceived by her concrete make-up”.
“Officer, when I see makeup, I will know”, Kossi said, walking away from his friend back into the room.
“Kossi, come come come”, Patrick pulled his friend back. “See, I have another problem. Since, the fight, yes, I admit that Fafa seems to have inflicted more wounds on me… but since the fight, she has not been hearing well. Can you suggest any otologist who can get her a hearing aid?”
“Erm… before we talk to get an otologist, let’s be very sure of your claim first. Here’s what you do,” said Kossi. “Stand about 40 feet away from her, and in a normal conversational speaking tone see if she hears you. If not, go to 30 feet, then 20 feet, and so on until you get a response.”
The next evening, Fafa visited Patrick. While his fiancée was in the kitchen cooking, Patrick was in the living room. “I’m about 40 feet away,” he said to himself. “Let’s see what happens.” Then in a normal tone, he asked, ‘Honey, what’s for dinner?”
No response. So, Patrick moved closer to the kitchen, about 30 feet from his fiancée and repeated, “Honey, what’s for dinner?” Still no response.
Next, he moved into the dining room where he was about 20 feet from his fiancée and asked, “Honey, what’s for dinner?”
Again, he got no response.
So, he walked up to the kitchen door, about 10 feet away. “Honey, what’s for dinner?”
Still, there was no response.
So, Patrick walked right up behind his fiancée. “Honey, what’s for dinner?”
“Patrick, for the fifth time… CHICKEN!”