Hey Hard Girl,
I trust your week has been swell so far. If it hasn’t, worry not, have a good rest this long weekend and try again next week. Remember life will not always give you what you want, you must sometimes fight for it. Last week was a blast… Wow. I learned scads from you guys. I’d like for us to talk about a problem which unfortunately has affected almost every youth alike. #HardGirlBut… can only be better if I hear your thoughts, suggestions and corrections. Please comment below. Connect with me here: [email protected].
It is common knowledge that not everyone is who say they claim to be on social media. Technology has made it easy for folks to assume the personality of another without being caught. What are your thoughts on perfection? Is it achievable? Is it worth all the stress and strain? Is perfection a mirage?
The unique way Mr. Norvidzro mentioned this word, as well as the examples he gave, the whole period he taught MIRAGE makes it impossible to forget it. Some years back in Senior High School, he made us understand that:
A mirage is a naturally occurring optical phenomenon in which light rays are bent to produce a displaced image of distant objects or the sky. It is an optical phenomenon that creates the illusion of water and results from the refraction of light through a non-uniform medium. Mirages are mostly observed on sunny days when driving on a highway. There appears to be a puddle of water on the road a hundred yard in front of the car, as it plods the highway. Once you arrive at the perceived location of the puddle, you would realize it was not there to start with.
In comparison to our everyday life, we all have a direction or destination in life. On the way, we are attracted to a virtual image we spend our time, energy and other resources pursuing. We all know how that ends – inferiority complex, living above one’s means, Social Anxiety Disorder (SAD), eating disorders and other life wasting consequences.
Perfection is not necessarily good nor bad. Depending on what angle it is pursued from, the effect on the individual varies. There is a difference between healthy and neurotic perfectionism; know where to draw the line. I term the former Excellence. Healthy perfectionists are driven by achievable, high or low, standards set. These standards and goals spur them to action. They do not allow their failures to define their direction, but rather learn from them and become better. The think big, dream big, and act big.
The neurotic perfectionists on the other hand are controlled by their achievements and failures. They set standards for themselves at the expense of everything and everybody. This affects their daily functioning and productivity; their relationship with family and friends are not left unscathed. It is not a wonder we have a lot of people faking who they are. Neurotic Perfectionism is induced by the individual, the society and other people. Self- induced perfectionism is where one thinks they can do better than they already are. The socially prescribed perfectionism; the person is pressured by external determinants – parents, friends, social media. They fear of criticisms from the society so they try to be who they are not, breeding unnecessary competition. ‘Bosschicks’ are all around us, flooding our timelines with pictures and bad English. The money these ‘Bosschicks’ and ‘Instagram queens’ waste to look pretty is a capital to start their own business. Yet, they sit their lazy derrieres in their single rooms and complain about unemployment. The group of people who are not able to construct a single sentence without making silly mistakes, annoy me the most. Sister, you could have enrolled in some adult education class for crying out loud. Ah, well… It’s their choice.
It is usual for people to be disappointed and crushed and have their dreams shattered because they did not achieve what they assume is ‘perfect’. Some suicide stories stem from inability to get the perfect grade, pinnacle, life and spouse. But that should not hinder your firm resolve to be excellent at what you do.
Never fake yourself just to look perfect because perfection is never real and reality is never perfect. ~ Unknown
Strive for excellence, not perfection
The law of diminishing return states that the continuing effort you put into a project decreases in effectiveness after a certain level of result have been achieved. Once you get to that threshold, channel your resources into another profitable venture, extra attention would yield no positive results. Like Donewell Insurance Company puts it; if it must be done, it must be done well. Whatever your hand finds to do, do it will all your might, intellect and will. But, do not go overboard. This is not to justify laziness. Get up, lazy bones and do it well. Go all-out for excellence.
Realize you are human
We are infallible, everyone and everything has flaws. No one has a perfect face or physique; perfect job, colleagues and salary; perfect spouse or children. It is impossible to achieve 100 percent result -apart from basic school- in anything that you do.
Please allow me to bore you with a course in Pharmacy, Chemistry. It is a rule that, to assay any tablet, say isoniazid or ibuprofen, weight uniformity test is performed. It means, to determine the content of active ingredient in a given tablet, you must ensure the individual weights of tablets of a particular batch of tablets produced are in the same range, not necessarily the same. A permissible percentage deviation is allowed according to literature. If the percentage content of the tablet is not exact, but falls in the expected range, it is accepted. The head and tail of it all is, there is a permissible amount of deviation to achieving perfection. So if you don’t get to the end of the road, you get to the middle of it.
Compare Yourself to Yourself
Unhealthy comparison leads to unhealthy perfectionism. Comparing yourself to others who you consider ‘The Standard’ can lead to inferior feeling about yourself. People will always be ahead of you. If you dedicate your life to chasing after such people, you’ll live the life of another. Appreciate yourself, flaws and all. Know your weaknesses capitalize on them; make them your strengths. Compare your Now to your Then, note the improvements and feel proud of yourself. Note also the tactics used to overcome obstacles to achieve this feat and employ them again. That is the way to go.
Prune Your Surroundings
Just like a tree needs pruning to enjoy, nutrients and fresh air, you need to clear, the clutter, some things, and people, in your space. Neurotic perfectionists are all around us. Cut such people away from your life. After all, out of site means out of sight. If it is impossible, reduce the time you spend with such people, for the sake of your sanity. Reduce or totally block out sources that incite you to practice unhealthy perfectionism, the social media, most especially.
Okay, enough of my rants. This article does not have to be perfect. I must practice what I preach. Remember, we have a date next week, same day, same time. You do not have to be in the perfect attire, anything goes. Au revoir, ma Cherie.