Hi Hard Girl,

The journey so far has been great. I always look forward to Thursdays. I get to share my thoughts on certain topics bugging women with you. It’s an honor to know people spend the time to read my write-ups. You guys are just awesome.

I can only get better when I hear your thoughts. Kindly drop a comment below. You can send me an email via this address 

Now, to what I have for you today


I once forwarded a WhatsApp message to my class page which sparked arguments. It was about the patriarchal perception of our society, how parents tell their sons, “you need a wife to take good care of you.”; “Son, you need a wife to perform these house chores.” Most men assume once they get married, the woman will take care of their ‘every’ need. It is common knowledge that women are glorified maids. They are made to perform every chore at home, from cooking to washing the socks of their husbands. Women from day one are taught to multitask.

I retorted, “every man has a unique taste, some would marry the professors of our time because they know their worth” when a guy said he has vowed not to marry the professors of our time because they do not make marriage beautiful. She’d expect the man to share responsibilities with her instead of doing it all alone while he sits cross-legged watching TV. He would rather find a wife in his hometown. Well, it is his choice. What is wrong, however, is that to this guy, for a woman to further her education to the highest peak there is, it is a sin. He’s intimidated by the success of women. So, he’d rather go in for a woman who would pose no threat to his inflated ego. It is a pity he would not feel the urge to be a better version of himself. After all, he would have no challenge whatsoever to be a better person. Some competition is good.

My question today is, who is obligated to cook in the house? The number of housewives in the 21st century, keep reducing. Women work around the clock just like their husbands, if not more. So, taking care of the home is no longer our sole responsibility. Women deal with stress from the office as well. Should we come home late and exhausted, whip a meal for the family while the men sit cross-legged as has always been? Should the men help, both of us should take turns?

Hunger is no hypocrite. It does not discriminate between genders. So, whoever is hungry, no matter the sex of that person, should cook. Every person, male and female alike, should learn how to cook.

I always look forward to the ampesi and abom my daddy prepares. No matter how hard my mother tries, I would always choose my daddy’s over hers. Though their methods are similar, she lacks that masculine touch. When no female is around, the male should not feel useless in the kitchen.

We are in the era where assignments are more important than chores. Most ladies, and gentlemen, lack culinary skills. Parents would rather their kids had their head in books than in cooking pots. In fact, these girls are made to stay home to read their books instead of playing with empty food cans and leftovers. They grow into intellectual people (ladies) who lack certain basic skills. Ladies who grew up in boarding houses, as well as those with one medical condition or the other, seldom know how to prepare meals. This should not be an excuse.

Why should you learn how to cook?

Like air and water, food is life. The body needs the energy to function properly. Food is the requisite fuel to keep the body going. It builds the body, provides energy, boosts the immune system to prevent infections. It is therapeutic; hence a good home cooked meal keeps the doctor away. One stands the risk of contracting chronic diseases when they eat a lot of junk food. Be healthy and happy by preparing a healthy meal. You get the advantage to know the exact ingredients in your food. This is essential; You can identify your allergies, and know what to avoid.

Cooking at home is less expensive. Believe it or not, money spent on homemade meals is lesser. Every once and a while, a blow-the-bank meal in a restaurant; A birthday, anniversary, tight schedules; is understandable. To save enough money, learn to prepare your own meal and keep your appetite in check.

Cooking sends out a strong message of independence. It will be clear to people around you that you do not rely upon anybody to cook you a meal. You are on your own. Your parents would cook for you but for a time. Once you leave home that responsibility is yours to bear. Practice makes perfect, you’ll get a hang of it, keep trying. Don’t give up.

Women empowerment plays an important role in the development of our country and the world. Why? Illiteracy has reduced. Women now can get their thoughts and ideas across without being barred or penalized. The inequality in knowledge acquisition between genders is gradually normalizing. These reasons and many others make the journey worthwhile. It is unfortunate some women have misunderstood this agenda. It should be an all-round venture, empowering women to be experts in all aspects of their life. Like a whole meal, every woman must have all it takes to be an asset to the society and her home.

Hunger would not cease when you get married. You and your husband must eat. The family will need real food, not junk from joints that are interested in their gains and not the health of their customers. Outside meals should not be your only option of a meal. That should be occasionally. Your family is your responsibility and not your maid’s. Empower yourself to cater for your family.

If for nothing at all, you get to use your husband as a guinea pig for your adventurous recipes. He has no option than to take in what comes out of the kitchen. The worst that could happen is he would visit the washroom a few more times. It will help him clear his bowels; it is good for his health. They do say the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach. Cook him his favorite meal as the rest is history. Use the Jollof to get what you want.

There are culinary schools all over. In addition to food, learn how to make pastries. It would reduce the cost incurred when planning events. Enroll, add value to yourself. Empower all aspects of your life, you need it.

All the best.

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