Minister for Foreign Affairs and Regional Integration, Hanna Tetteh, yesterday Wednesday joyfully announced the triumphant entry of two suspected terrorists into the country. The two suspected terrorists, who originally hail from Yemen, were detained at the world’s highest profile prison, Guantanamo Bay for 14 years but were recently released in an effort by the US government to close the Guantanamo Bay detention facility in Cuba.

In a related development, Deputy Communications Minister, Felix Ofosu Kwakye, speaking on the Super Morning Show with Kojo Yankson today Thursday noted that, although the US itself has refused to accommodate the detainees, Ghana decided to welcome them on humanitarian grounds. “We are only helping the United States”, he stated.

Speaking to, the Deputy Minister admitted that even though both men are still linked to terrorist groups, the Ghana Police is strong enough to handle them. “I once lost my wallet in a trotro but the Ghana Police was able to trace it and get it for me. If they are able to do such a great and mighty thing, why can’t they forestall any potential threat posed by our accommodation of these two suspected terrorists?”

Our correspondent reminded him that the US Govt has it on record that 18 of its former Guantanamo Bay detainees went back to join terrorist groups. The Deputy Minister, in an amazing display of brilliance replied that Ghana is different from the US and that the fact that it happened with the US does not mean it would happen with Ghana. “Gentleman, I am saying we are ready to host these people. What is your problem?” he ended angrily. When he was asked whether government’s claim that no money was involved in the deal, he only smiled slyly and said, “Please, I don’t know. You yourself, do you believe that? If yes, fine. If no, fine.”

We also had the opportunity to talk to the Foreign Minister, who intimated that the true reason for the deal was not humanitarian. “My sons, you will not understand this right now, you are still children. When someone keeps lending you money, you just cannot say no to some of his requests.” asked her what she would do in case the men actually activated terrorist attacks in the country. “Oh, simple. I’ll just run away. With my family.” She explained further, “I have secured visas for all my family members. So in case of any yawa, we will just take the next available flight outside Ghana till calm returns, then we’ll return too. Yes, we will just run away.”

Efforts at contacting the country’s major opposition party for their statement on the issue was fruitless. A high-ranking member of the party told us, “Sorry, we have not finished suspending and fighting ourselves. When we are done pampering our egos, we will let you know.”

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Disclaimer: This story is a work of satire. Not everything stated may be entirely true.

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